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| Thursday, July 16th, 2009 | | 9:02 pm |
| | 6:54 pm |
Dreaming of Green Day... again!
I dreamt for the second time in a couple of months that I was hanging out with Green Day. Which is pretty bizarre - what is the significance of that particular band?! It would make sense if it was U2, but no, apparently Green Day are my dream BFFs. For some reason they had this garage / shed thing which was like their clubhouse, and they were telling me how they were constantly getting bored with the way it looked, and deciding to move the windows and stuff(!). So much so, that they'd built it really cleverly with all these moving panels so the whole thing could be reorganised whenever and however they wanted. Also the door responded to a voice command, so you could kind of Open Sesame it, even if it was locked from the inside. I was like "You have the most awesome garage ever!", and then me and Billie Joe went inside and were just lying on our backs on the floor, chillin' out in the awesome magic garage. Haha! I emailed my boss to ask about what would happen if I handed in my notice. It turns out I have so much annual leave remaining, that if I did decide to quit, I could leave pretty much straight away. So..... yeah. We'll see what happens in the next few weeks. :| Current Mood: confused | | Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 | | 9:38 pm |
Ring Of Bright Water / Random Round-Up
If anyone wondered.... it didn't rain on Sunday morning, but despite this, the noisy workmen mysteriously failed to show up! You cannot imagine how thankful I was! ♥ It's now exactly 10 years since I bought the greatest album of all time and had my tiny mind blown forever. I already talked about my memories of the day here, so there's not much more I can add. I just wish I could articulate how much it means to me. Happy anniversary, AB. Speaking of U2, I was surprised to find a package from Amazon waiting for me when I got home today. It was the Magnificent single, LOL! I had long since given up on ever seeing a copy of that. If they release a physical version of the next single, I really need to preorder, preorder, preorder... There was a bit of thunder & lightning yesterday evening, so I switched the computer off and didn't bother going online. Instead I finished the book I've been reading, Ring Of Bright Water by Gavin Maxwell. This is another of the books I've owned since childhood (when Mum bought it second hand) but never got round to reading until now. I remember starting it when I was a kid, but becoming bored within a few pages when I realised it was all narrative with absolutely no dialogue. Luckily such things don't bother me any more! Having been quite traumatised by Tarka The Otter earlier in the year, I was hoping this would be a rather more pleasant otter-related tale. It had me worried at first, when the author spoke about his passion for hunting in his youth - clearly this was not the gentle animal-lover I had hoped to read about - but he does express his guilt about this later on, as he grows more appreciative of the natural world. Also I was surprised to find there wasn't a single mention of otters until six long chapters in, when I had thought they were the main subject of the book! Still, I did enjoy all the other stuff about his remote Scottish home, and the otters were well worth waiting for. It's a very funny book (plenty of laugh-out-loud incidents), and quite feelgood overall, despite its heartbreaking tragedies. I'm glad I finally read it. I've just discovered via Wikipedia that he wrote a sequel, so maybe I should look for that. (I'm quite upset after reading about him on Wikipedia, actually - I didn't know his beloved house later burned down, or that he died of cancer within a decade of finishing the book! That's so sad.) Btw, the stuff he writes about ESP and the freakish coincidences that lead to him getting his otter Edal.... I'm so glad other people experience things like this. I know exactly what he's talking about. The way things sometimes work out so spookily, and how you just know what's about to happen, without having any actual knowledge of it. I went through much the same thing 10 years ago. Destiny is the only word for it. I desperately want to quit my job. I'm just scared that I'll end up with something even worse. :| I was playing some of AB earlier, and the line from One jumped out at me: " One life / You got to do what you should". I wish I knew what that means. Should I follow my heart? Should I be sensible? Should I do what other people want me to do? I don't know. :( Finally, in Wembley news, I've worked out a ticket trade with someone via Interference. Fingers crossed this one actually works out!!!!! Current Mood: mixed | | Saturday, July 11th, 2009 | | 8:52 pm |
A hammering in my head don't stop Fourth Most Hated Way To Be Woken Up: hammer in the next room. Let me tell you the very worst way to be woken up: hammer, saw, and men talking loudly, just inches from where you are trying to sleep, at half past eight in the morning on a Saturday. AT HALF PAST EIGHT IN THE MORNING ON A SATURDAY!!!!!THIS IS DOWNRIGHT INHUMANE.Our house is currently surrounded by scaffolding, because the PUMV decided we needed new... erm... the wooden bit just under the roof. Apparently it's old and rotten or something. I'm not happy about this, because we've had birds nesting just above my bedroom every summer for years, and now their home is being blocked off. :( And I *especially* hate these builder blokes climbing all around the house. I feel like I've got no privacy at the moment (despite the fact all the curtains are closed), and I can hear them talking and banging about all the time - there's just no escape from it. I find it really unsettling, like my personal space has been totally invaded. :/ ANYWAY, they spent the last couple of days erecting the scaffolding, and this morning they arrived to start the actual work, at the aforementioned GODFORSAKEN HOUR. It was pure hell. One minute I was sleeping peacefully (and god knows how dearly I treasure catching up on my sleep at the weekend), and the next minute BANG BANG YAP YAP BANG BANG BANG etc. I couldn't *believe* it when I squinted at the clock. NOBODY should be awake at that hour on a Saturday, let alone making so much noise. It was right outside my bedroom, I was so tired and upset. Then I thought, maybe I can stagger downstairs and sleep on the sofa instead. Unfortunately when I got down there, Dad had the TV blaring, and he wouldn't stop blathering on about the computer's weekly virus check or something. To add insult to injury, not only was he completely unsympathetic about my sleep deprivation, he then told me I'd "better get dressed" as the workmen would be moving all around the house and might see me in my nightdress! I just felt like crying, except I was too exhausted. I went back upstairs and crawled into the PUs' bed instead, hoping that just maybe it would be quieter than my own room (since there isn't any scaffolding round the front). Erm... yeah, not really. There was so much hammering and sawing, it was just impossible to sleep, so all I could do was curl up miserably in the foetal position with my hands over my ears and the duvet over my head. They only stayed for an hour before buggering off when it started raining, but by then it was too late, I'd reached the stage where there was no chance of getting back to sleep. :( This also means JOY OF JOYS, they'll be back again tomorrow morning. PLEASE, IF THERE IS ANY GOD, LET IT POUR WITH RAIN FROM SUNRISE UNTIL AT LEAST MIDDAY!!! So, cruelly robbed of both my lie-in and the walk we had hoped to do, we spent the day cleaning instead. I was going to clean my room which I've been lazily neglecting for weeks, but I only got as far as emptying the bin, when Mum sidetracked me with a futile search for a missing silver charm. We moved a bookcase in the hall in case it had fallen behind, and it was all so filthy, we ended up moving everything and giving it a thorough clean. Among other things I found my old (empty) GCSE Art folder, which amused me because I'd written the following quote in huge letters on the board inside: "ALL ART IS QUITE USELESS" - OSCAR WILDE
And on the other side: "THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING - BABE IT MUST BE ART" - U2
Hahahaha, I have absolutely no recollection of doing that!! We didn't finish until nearly 5 o'clock, so I only had time for a very quick dust & hoover of my bedroom before I was knackered and desperately in need of a bath. I feel much better now I'm clean and I've had a nice piece of cake whilst LOLing quite hard at Total Wipeout. :D ALSO, I flicked through the new TV guide earlier, and when I got to Friday I was like "HANG ON, WHAT'S ALL THIS NOW?!" (totally interrupting whatever Mum was saying at the time) because I suddenly spotted Bono and The Edge listed as this week's guests on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross! Can't believe I've seen *no* previous mention of this anywhere on the Internet, they normally hype up these interviews weeks in advance. How very cool, I presume they're promoting the tour before it reaches the UK. Best of all, they'll be sharing the green room with MacPhisto's very good friend Dame Edna! :D If only that marvellous double act could be reunited at long last.... Current Mood: tiiired | | 1:03 am |
Torchwood: Children of Earth
I watched the Torchwood serial every night this week, and..... it was really, really good. I never thought I'd say that. To recap: Torchwood was a shit idea right from the beginning. Who wants a Doctor Who spin-off, much less an oh-so-adult Doctor Who spin-off that kiddies weren't allowed to watch? I had no interest in watching it, and only got sucked in because Mum wanted us to watch the first episode. The first series was nothing short of dire. I mean really, completely terrible in every respect. It went out of its way to be Adult at the expense of decent storylines or characterisation - every episode seemed to consist of people swearing and shagging each other just for the hell of it, and everyone had to be bisexual, because apparently being straight is sooooooo 20th Century. I kept watching to see if it would get any better, and it didn't. When the damn thing finally ended, I vowed not to bother with the next series. But I did end up watching the second series, mainly because there were tie-ins with Doctor Who and I didn't want to miss anything important. To my surprise, it was a huge improvement on the first series. There was still a fair bit of nauseating rubbish, but much less of it, and the writing and acting were a lot better. You actually started to like and care about the characters. There were even moments of genuine brilliance, like the episode Adrift which reminded me of The Outer Limits on a good day. The series finale was pretty shocking and managed to reduce me to tears. And so to the third series, a single story told over five hour-long episodes on consecutive nights. I didn't have very high hopes for this, especially having seen the trailers which looked silly. But you know what, it was superb. A couple of cringeworthy scenes, the occasional gaping plot hole (how come the aliens never specified what age children they wanted, and there was absolutely no discussion of it?), but apart from that - it was one of the best pieces of TV I've seen in ages. Really good acting, thought-provoking plots, loads of action, edge-of-seat tension, real heavy emotion, and it looked great too. They didn't shy away from grisly endings, which made it very powerful at times, without ever feeling gratuitous. ( Spoilers ) I must say I was thoroughly impressed, and I think it worked really well in this new format. Apparently it *is* possible for a programme to kill off half its main cast and not miss them at all when the next series arrives! (What a shame Robin Hood failed so miserably in that department.) ( Another spoiler )One has to wonder what happens next, if anything. They tied everything up very neatly at the end there (it was beautifully sad!), so the sensible thing would be to end the show there. But apparently they do have a fourth series in the pipeline, dependent on audience figures for this week (which ought to be pretty good considering the quality of it). How that would work, I have no idea... but I would watch! Current Mood: pleasantly surprised | | Friday, July 10th, 2009 | | 10:43 pm |
Best Of 1980-1990 memories
Oh, you know I can't resist a bit of nostalgia. Since it's my 10 year anniversary, I played a few tracks from the Best Of (well, the B-Sides) and I thought I'd write a few more words about my memories of that day. I can't remember much, since at the time, I had no idea just how significant it was going to be. This was the first U2 music I ever bought. We ordered it online, I can't remember where from. I wanted the 2 disc version partly so I could sample as many songs as possible, and partly because I was really intrigued by the two covers on the B-sides disc. I loved the original versions of Everlasting Love and Unchained Melody, and couldn't quite imagine how a rock band would perform either of them. (Dancing Barefoot is of course a cover as well, but I'd never heard of that one.) It arrived, as you know, on Saturday 10th July 1999. I listened to it that afternoon, lying on the settee with headphones on. (Not surprising, since the living room was the only place in the house with a CD player back then!) The first track on the CD was Pride (In The Name Of Love). I remember it stirring a vague familiarity in me, like *maybe* I'd heard it somewhere before, but I wasn't sure. The second track was New Year's Day, which bizarrely didn't impress me much at first. I don't know if that's because it's the stupid edited version rather than the awesome full-length track from War. NYD is quite possibly in my all-time Top 5 favourite U2 songs, so it's weird how I didn't love it straight away. I wasn't particularly blown away by Streets either, and was puzzled when I saw a comment about it having one of the greatest intros ever. Of course, this is again because the version on the Best Of is a crappy edit with shortened intro and outro! When Love Comes To Town had guest vocals which never have appealed to me much. Apart from that, my least favourite track was probably Bad, which I found quite slow and dull - I omitted it when I made a mix tape featuring my new U2 songs, and didn't really "get" it until I saw Rattle & Hum the following year. I love the song now! Angel Of Harlem was, I think, another track that sounded possibly-vaguely-familiar-but-maybe-not. It was completely different to what I expected. I'm not entirely sure what I *had* imagined it to sound like, but a big brass band number was the last thing I had in mind. I Will Follow amused me, I loved the way Bono put on a silly voice to sing it. It wasn't until months later that I realised that was actually how Bono sounded when U2 started out!! I think I liked the B-Sides disc better than the album tracks, on that first listen. I'm pretty sure when I described it as " powerful & amazing" in my diary, and remarked that it would indeed be perfect for " listening to mournfully for hours", I was referring to tracks like Walk To The Water and Luminous Times. I liked the atmosphere and emotion and poetry of them. I wasn't too sure about the B-side version of Sweetest Thing, which sounded incredibly rough to my ears, though I grew more fond of it later! The two covers did not disappoint at all, I was very impressed. Neither of them sounded anything like the much-loved originals, but they were brilliant in their own way. Unchained Melody in particular was quite astonishing - I'd only ever heard that song in the style of the Righteous Brothers version (Robson & Jerome's cover was much the same), but U2 had given it a whole different tune and feel, which seemed a really brave thing to do. And it worked, it sounded so beautiful! They'd completely reworked a perfect, classic song, and come up with something at least equally amazing. No wonder I was immediately keen to check out what else this band was capable of. And that's where it all began. So much has happened since then - all the stuff I've bought, tours I've seen, experiences I've gone through - how the hell did all of that fit inside a single decade? Surely it was another lifetime ago. Current Mood: nostalgic | | 4:21 pm |
More U2 dreams and more ambulances
If you didn't read my huge fandom timeline post (that'll be pretty much everyone, then).... exactly 10 years ago today, I bought my first U2 CD. Wow. In some ways it's hard to believe it was *only* 10 years ago.... Speaking of the U2ers, they're dominating my dreams of late. I completely forgot to mention a dream I had earlier this week (Tuesday night, I think?) in which I was, again, at one of their concerts. They always seem to be playing in a really odd location - this one was set in some kind of hall, and for some reason the fans were all stood in a straight line stretching away from the stage, while the rest of the hall was completely empty. We were waiting for the concert to start, and I heard a few bass guitar notes which I assumed was one of the technicians doing a little soundcheck. I was amused by how similar it sounded to the intro of 'Walking On The Moon'.... and to my surprise it turned out to be exactly that, because then Sting appeared, playing a guitar and singing it! Somehow nobody knew Sting was going to be the support act, LOL. He wandered right down the left-hand side of the crowd line, so I got a good look at him - '80s blond mullet and all! Then last night I had ANOTHER U2 concert dream, but I don't remember it so well. It never got as far as the actual show - I was waiting outside the venue, which was on a dream version of Ashley Road (roughly in the location of either Abbey or that Audio In Motion shop; it wasn't clear which). I noticed nobody was parking in front of the building where I was, so I figured there must be a larger car park round the back. The only other thing I remember is reading U2gigs.com where there was strong speculation that Drowning Man would finally be played tonight! In non-U2 news, I saw another person collapsed in public today - thankfully not as traumatic as the incident the other week. I'm not sure what had happened. I was just coming back from my lunch break, looking for a way across the road (Gervis Place) and not finding one because there were buses parked all the way along. Then I heard sirens and noticed an ambulance parked in front of the buses, with a police car on the other side of the road. I had to walk right past them to cross the road, and there was an old-ish man lying on his back right in the middle of the road, with a paramedic knelt beside him. For a split second I had a sick feeling in my stomach remembering what I'd seen before, but this time the person was the right colour and appeared to be conscious, although he wasn't moving and the paramedic was keeping a finger on his pulse. A row of police officers were stood in the road blocking the traffic, so none of the buses were going anywhere. A second ambulance was just arriving, but I didn't hang about to see what happened next. No idea if the guy had just collapsed in the road or if he'd been hit by a bus or something! Current Mood: curious | | Thursday, July 9th, 2009 | | 11:22 pm |
| | 8:41 pm |
Bono dream
I had some weird "hanging out with Bono" dream last night. I'm not sure how much sense it made, and all my dreams were jumping from one thing to another like crazy, so I'm limited in how much I can remember or describe. Bono had seemingly come round our house, except it wasn't our house at all, and I've no idea how this came about. I recall some guy wanted Bono to sign something, and he had to rest on the guy's shoulder to do it, plus he only had a biro or similar so it wasn't particularly easy. Which didn't seem to put him off, because instead of just signing his name, he felt the need to scribble loads of little notes and doodles all over it - I remember worrying that if I ever tried to get the whole band's autographs, Bono would use up all the space and there would be no room for the others. *g* (For some reason I wanted to wait for such an occasion, and didn't have anything for Bono to sign right now - he seemed disappointed.) Then we were sitting around and this programme featuring Bono randomly came on the TV - it was from years ago and really daft, and I wondered if he would be embarrassed to see it, but he didn't seem bothered. I'm not sure what else happened... Current Mood: amused | | Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 | | 7:38 pm |
F1: Villeneuve ready to return UM..... WHAT?!I don't.... want this. I haven't missed F1 at all. Quite the opposite. I don't wanna have to watch it again! Move over Michael Jackson, I think this is officially the year's most unexpected news story!! Current Mood: shocked | | Sunday, July 5th, 2009 | | 8:09 pm |
| | 7:45 pm |
Really should have a tennis icon...
Oh my god. Oh my god. What a match!! That is truly what you call an epic. I don't even know what to say - my nerves are shot to pieces. How Roger even came through the second set tie-break, I don't know... by the fifth I was completely resigned to the fact Andy Roddick was going to win. Credit where it's due - everybody underestimated him this year. They wrote him off before the semi-final, he proved them wrong. They'd all but written Roger's name into the history books before today's match even started, and again Andy shocked everyone with his strength and determination! The guy played out of his skin - I can't believe he only lost his serve *once* in the whole match, and still found himself defeated. My relief and joy for Roger can't be put into words, but I'm so gutted for Roddick now; he looked inconsolable! I really hope he wins the US Open or something now, he so deserves another title after that performance. But speaking of titles - Roger actually DID IT, he broke the record! :D And Peeeeeeete was there to watch him, yay! What an amazing achievement. Roger seemed in a total daze, too exhausted to cry or even think of what to say, and who can blame him after a 4¼-hour rollercoaster ride like that. *g* Mirka burst into tears when he won I think - I'm surprised she didn't go into labour on the spot! God, and I thought nothing could beat the unbearable tension of last year's final. This one was equally nailbiting, but at least I got the result I wanted this time!! Isn't this a beautiful sight as always?!  Current Mood: happy | | Friday, July 3rd, 2009 | | 7:40 pm |
And now the U2 nightmare...
CRAP. The fan I was going to swap Wembley tickets with? Has screwed me over. And wasn't even planning to let me know. I emailed the guy just to check everything was sweet (and so we could start working out the finer details of our meetup), and he's like "Yep I still want to buy your ticket! Oh btw I don't have Wembley 2 tickets any more!" WHATIT IS LESS THAN SIX WEEKS until the concerts. I thought my tickets were sorted! Needless to say, he is NOT getting my Wembley 1 ticket now. No London shows for you, my friend. And there was me thinking this dude was fairly well known and trustworthy. :/ Back to the mad scramble of trying to find somebody else who can trade with me - and hope it works out better than the last arrangement. God, I don't even have my full set of spare tickets to offer any more, because I've promised the other 2 to some guy, and I don't want to let him down the way I've just been let down! Current Mood: stressed | | 6:44 pm |
Wimbledon
Yeeeeeeeeeesss! Another Federer/Roddick final. :D I'm so relieved. Nothing irritates me more than a bloodthirsty Wimbledon crowd when a British guy is playing, and I especially didn't want to see them turning against Roger! Current Mood: pleased | | 5:56 pm |
U2 dream and other news
Despite the insane humidity, I managed a deep sleep last night, and among others I had a long dream about being at a U2 concert. (Oh, it's THAT time again!) Though in typical dream fashion, they weren't performing in a stadium or even an arena, but in some kind of hall resembling one of the larger tutorial rooms at uni. There were no standing tickets - the audience were all seated in rows of plastic chairs as if it was a school assembly, LOL. Despite this, the dream felt very realistic and I remember quite a few details. One song was unexpectedly played in a slow acoustic style, which I thought was very unusual, but I can't recall for certain which song it was. There were lots of technical problems throughout the show (presumably inspired by opening night!) - random power cuts in the middle of songs, so the mic would abruptly stop working and the lights would go out, which must have been so embarrassing and frustrating for the band. Also Bono's mic stand refused to stay at the correct height, and kept shrinking back down while he was trying to sing into it - some technician guy had to run on and hold it up, which rather killed the atmosphere! I was apparently in seat 18, on the left-hand end a few rows back. About halfway through the show, Bono looked directly at me and said (quietly, so most people missed it) something like "Seat 18 onward, are you ready for the next couple of songs?" For a split second I was puzzled as to what he meant, but then I realised my row was full of the kids who were meant to go on stage with Suu Kyi masks during Walk On - I had obviously sat in one of their seats without knowing it, and Bono thought I was the one in charge of them! To avoid any awkwardness, I just smiled and nodded at him, but there was no way in hell I was going on stage with one of those masks. So I let the others out and hoped nobody would notice me slipping back into my seat! The weird thing was, it was definitely meant to be the current tour - I remember thinking I still had Wembley in a few weeks' time, and this was just a random bonus concert I had somehow gotten into - but Bono looked really young, like Boy/October era (boyish and mulleted, without the blond highlights). Not sure where that came from! The only other thing I recall is seeing a setlist and noticing they had covered (or were going to cover?) a Justin Hayward song called, oddly enough, 'Hayward'! Some people were discussing this, and for some reason none of them had a clue who Justin Hayward was. I was frustrated because I did know who he was, but I wasn't familiar with that particular song! All-in-all, quite a random but entertaining dream. (I also had an unrelated dream about Bananarama...!) Miracle of miracles, today I actually made it home early enough to see Roger Federer play. OK, so I saw all of two games, but that's two more than I've been able to watch in any previous rounds this year! (Why must they always put Roger on first... SODDING Andy Murray hogging all the evening slots!) Anyway, he made it through safely, so at least I can watch the final on Sunday. I loved the way he finished in style with a totally unnecessary dramatic slam across the net. *g* Also, he said Pete Sampras is thinking about attending the final! That would be awesommme! Lastly: it's that time of year again! Why is it *every* year, sometime around July, I start thinking " Is it Christmas yet?!" Current Mood: amused | | Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 | | 9:49 pm |
| | 8:59 pm |
Spid0r guts :(
I'd been wandering around for a few minutes this morning, when I glanced down and noticed something dark on my nightdress. Near the bottom, on the right-hand side (which I lie on). I really, really hoped it was a bundle of stray cotton. It wasn't. It was a big brown squashed spider. 8( This upset me on so many levels. 1) There was a big brown spider in my room. 2) There was a big brown spider in my BED. 8( WHAT THE FUCK. 3) There was a big brown spider in my bed and I didn't even know it was there. 8/ 4) Poor spider. I hope it did not suffer for long. 8( 5) I had to scrape it off into the bin with a piece of toilet paper. It didn't want to come off at first, and left a patch of spider guts on my nightdress. 8/ 8/ 8/ (Needless to say, that nightdress is now IN THE WASH. GET IT AWAY FROM ME.) In summary: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. 8( Current Mood: distressed | | Tuesday, June 30th, 2009 | | 10:33 pm |
Randomness! TOUR!
I forgot to mention that we won £135 in a quiz on Saturday. The winning answer was " The Satanic Verses". :) I have to link to another Robin Hood review as some of the sentences just crack me up completely. Brilliant! U2's about-to-appear-on-stage song for this tour is SPACE ODDITY?! * explodes from teh awesome* U2 has done a live linkup to the International Space Station in the middle of the concert, talking to the astronauts, each band member asking them questions back and forth. Unreal.How ZooTV is that?!?! Ah mah gaaaaahhhhhhh..... just over 6 weeks to go!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: bouncy | | Monday, June 29th, 2009 | | 9:12 pm |
This is the only icon that fits
I watched the tour preview video (and all the other build-up videos on U2.com) and I would just like to say: HOMG HOMG HOMG HOMG HOMG HOMG HOMG HOMG HOMG HOMG. It looks a bit like PopMartQuite excited now...!! Current Mood: hyper | | 7:00 pm |
Mr Wells, have you met my husband? Remember this? And how much the guy endeared himself to all of us with his lovely "review" of Beautiful Day? Apparently he is no longer with us! Oh what a shame. (You know I'm not normally one to gloat over anybody's death - but this is the guy who hated a U2 single so much that he begged for Mark Chapman to be released from prison in order to murder Bono. Charming. It would appear the Grim Reaper wanted to meet you first, my friend. How's that for instant karma?) Current Mood: sad... no, really |
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